Subject: Fw: Sometimes we just need to be reminded> Sometimes we just need to be reminded!> A well-known speaker started off his seminar by> holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked,> "Who would like this $20 bill?"> Hands started going up.> He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you> but first, let me do this.> He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.> He then asked, "Who still wants it?"> Still the hands were up in the air.> Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"> And he dropped it on the ground> and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.> He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.> "Now, who still wants it?"> Still the hands went into the air.> My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.> No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it> because it did not decrease in value.> It was still worth $20.> Many times in our lives,> we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt> by the decisions we make and> the circumstances that come our way.> We feel as though we are worthless.> But no matter what has happened or> what will happen, you will never lose your value.> Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,> you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.> The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know,> but by WHO WE ARE.> You are special- Don't EVER forget it."> If you do not pass this on, you may never know the> lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to,> or the hope that it can bring.

Men Over 50 Men over 50 don't need reassurance. They often need Depends. Men over 50 are sure of themselves. It's their bodies that have serious doubts. Men over 50 are delighted to be seen with women in their 30s. Unless the women are wearing badges and uniforms, and have just slapped cuffs on you. Men over 50 no longer fight at the drop of a hat. They've learned it's hard enough to hit a toilet, much less an agile younger fellow who is kicking their butt. Men over 50 have seen it all. They ate and drank a lot of it, as their expanding waistlines prove. Men over 50 are sometimes tougher than nails. Bent nails, Rusty Nails, Toe Nails. Men over 50 like fast cars and loose women. What they actually have are loose cars and bad memories of fast women. Men over 50 like sizzling steaks and smooth whiskey. They usually need bran muffins and liquid fiber. Men over 50 like to sink their teeth in a challenge. Frequently, though, they are challenged to find their teeth in the

Teaching math in 2005.Last week I purchased a burger and fries at McDonalds for = $3.58.The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gaveit to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While lookingat the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell herto just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While hetried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do Itell you this?Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950's:Teaching Math In 1950.A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5of the price. What is his profit?Teaching Math In 1960.A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5of the price, or $80. What is his profit?Teaching Math In 1970.A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is$80. Did he make a profit?Teaching Math In 1980.A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.Teaching Math In 1990.A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish andinconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or thepreservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20.What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for classparticipation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrelsfeel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wronganswers.)Teaching Math In 2005.Un ranchero vende un carrete de madera por $100. El costo de la producciónfue $80. ¿Cuántas tortillas se puede comprar?

This Pastor Has Guts

Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in Kansas at the

opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some

people.

When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the
Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:



"Heavenly Father, we come before You today to ask Your forgiveness andto seek Your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your Word and called it Pluralism

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building

self-esteem.

We have abused power and called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it
freedom of expression.

We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and
called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.

Guide and bless these men and women who have been sent to direct us to the center of Your will and to openly ask these things in the name of Your Son, the living Savior, Jesus Christ.



Amen!"



The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out ! during the prayer in protest.

In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is

pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls

responding negatively.

The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this

prayer from India, Africa, and Korea.

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, "The

Rest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program

than any other he has ever aired.

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and

wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "one nation under God."


If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends "If you don't

stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

Think about this: if you forward this prayer to everyone on your email

list in less than 30 days it would be heard by the world.



This really needs to go around the entire country

What women say and what they MEAN
ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of "those" arguments.FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.NOTHING: This means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and will end with the word "Fine".GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine", and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over "Nothing".SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sigh" means that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead". At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "you're welcome".THANKS A LOT: This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing".

If Men Got Pregnant
Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay.There'd be a cure for stretch marks.Natural childbirth would become obsolete.Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem.All methods of birth control would be improved to 100 percent effectiveness.Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.Men would be eager to talk about commitment.They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute.Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10:00pm.Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags.They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.Women would rule the world!

YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE GETTING OLD WHEN:
You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.
Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
You tune into the easy listening station...on purpose.
You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large...In that order.
You keep repeating yourself.
You start video taping daytime game shows.
Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar...a month at a time.
At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
You keep repeating yourself.
It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
You run out of breath walking down a flight of stairs.
You look both ways before crossing a room.
You go to a Garden Party and you're mainly interested in the garden.
You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep.
You keep repeating yourself.